Effects of parents alcoholism on children
One of the common misconceptions that most alcoholics seem to have is that their drinking doesn’t affect anyone else. But the reality is that the effect of parent alcoholism is so profound that it sometimes lasts forever.
If you are an adult child of alcoholics, you feel different and disconnected. You may not realize at the early stages of life but sooner or later you realize that you don’t really outgrow the effects of alcoholism in the family.
You may suffer with anxiety, depression, stress, anger, relationship problems etc.
But the effects of different children may be different.
Sometimes it is also observed that children raised in such situations are extremely hard working, successful and goal driven in life.
But in general, the following are the effects of parent alcoholism on children-
- Think about what being normal is-
Because most of the children are devoid of the normal family life, they most often grow up never being comfortable around families because they are uncertain how to act and what to say.
Also these children tend to isolate themselves from socializing because they always think they are different from others and and also not good enough.
- Don’t usually take breaks-
Growing up in a alcoholic home makes you feel insecure.
The constant lyings, manipulations, harsh parenting makes it hard for you to trust people and also trust you being good enough. It leaves you highly sensitive to criticism. Hence you don’t believe in taking breaks off your routine because you always try to prove your worth and make others happy.
- Trust issues and difficulty in intimate relationships-
Because of having grown in an atmosphere where denial, lying, keeping secrets was a norm, adult children of alcoholics suffer with trust issues.
All the broken promises of the past constantly tell them that trusting someone will backfire on them in the future.
- Being overly responsible-
Because of the situations at home, you took on some of your parents responsibilities.
Responsibilities like handling your parents(comforting them emotionally) or practically by earning bread and butter. Since now it has become a part of you, hence now you take up responsibilities of others or for problems you didn’t cause.
- Frightened by angry people-
Most of the adult children of parents alcoholism either face their parents to be mean or abusive when drunk. This actually brings them to a fear of all angry people around.
- Constantly seek approvals-
Because children suffering with parents alcoholism constantly judge themselves too harshly, so they get used to constantly seek for approvals from others. They with time become people pleasers.
You may find to link with a few points if not all.
But deep down the scars that these children develop over the years, be it emotional or psychological are so deep that they can last for lifetime.
If you are a parent with alcoholic traits, please try to avoid or lessen it in amounts because its very important for you to realize that your drinking does make great impacts on your children. So focusing on your children and loving them is a positive change they require from you.
Similarly, if you’re a child and a victim of parents alcoholism, please try to be strong enough and not lose hopes and try taking control of the situations and drag your parents out of that zone because you deserve a better life.